How to Keep a Man

in a surprising display of hilarity and wit, philippine daily inquirer lifestyle section did a write up about vicki belo and her beau hayden kho with an article titled "How Vicki Keeps her Hayden".

that title is just so wrong from the get-go, "Hayden" sounds slyly similar to "hymen" thus alluding to the flower-arrangement procedure that ms belot went through. it would have been enough to refer to her anatomy as a body to die for, but the editors cleverly inserted "some indeed do die in pursuit of that body" - perhaps an obscure reference to the alleged / supposed / speculated case of a general's wife dying on the operating table (pardon me dear readers, my legal team of advisers told me to insert those words... just to make sure). click on read.more for more inanities...

Adding insult to injury must be a special talent of the writers. The caption that goes with the picture of the lovers ask the question:

The romance between a young [gorgeous, chunky, hunky] man and a more mature [wealthy, well connected, well reconstructed, reconstituted] woman - how does it work?

the implication is soooo simple dimwit... Money, lots of money and the occasional viagra.

At least they stopped short of calling her old hag. some men do like older women, oedipus killed his own pops to marry his mom. incidentally, at 28 years old, hayden is just six months older than vicki's oldest son. oh wait, wasn't it hayden that got tagged by keanna reeves on live TV as one of the patrons who patronized (what else do patrons do?) her "special services"? that was probably the equivalent of a hot flash for men, he turned white and red in record time. if you think about it, keanna and vicki, vicki and keanna... they do look alike: old and tired.

vicki is the real woman of all ages, the body of a luscious 28 year old, the legs of a 16 year old cheerleader, the lips of a 30 year old full woman, the slightly drugged eyes of a 16 year old juvenile. indeed, a woman of all ages - a total of 100 years old.

i can smell a PR stunt and a well-oiled greasy hand that wrote the article. excuse me, i have to go to the bathroom and barf.