sunday dumplings

by the time i got through sunday church service i was feeling a bit hungry and was craving for japanese food.

red kimono was in my agenda, driven by some pretty good reviews about this new resto in ayala terrace.

pretty darn good reviews indeed. the place was packed. i contented myself by going through the menu and found the prices to be very very reasonable. perhaps next time. in contrast, teriyaki boy used to have people lining up for a seat but nowadays it looks more like a ghost town. knowing the eating habits of cebuanos, i wouldn't be surprised that majority has eaten in teri-b but wouldn't really come in for seconds. it is just too pricey for this market that's known for the "been-there-once-fad" attitude. same story that's happening to TGIF. hint to peeps, keep your price low, servings ginormous and taste fabulous: perfect criteria for the cebuano market.


since i was craving for something oriental i ended up in harbor city for some dumpling sampling. steamed hakao, shrimp balls and steamed beef rice was a perfect and light meal.

if you're familiar with ravioli then you basically get the idea of hakao. the only difference is that ravioli uses traditional pasta ingredients whereas hakao is generally made from rice and tapioca flour mixed with oil (sesame or peanut oil is preferred), salt and water. hakao is much more delicate than ravioli and becomes translucent when steamed.


for those that are uber innocent, let me clarify that squids don't have balls and the idea of eating animal testicles is not really appetizing. the only known dish that uses testicles and penises would be the infamous filipino Soup No. 5 dish. as for the reason why they named it Soup No. 5, think about it this way, it wouldn't be so appetizing if you named it "nilagang itlog at titi ng baka" (stew of cock and balls). holy cow.

Harbor City
Ayala Terraces
Cebu City

a lab story - the sequence

I thought Jay's ex-girlfriend was really out of our lives. But heaven only goes that I was wrong. Kakakasal pa lang namin nun when Jay received a uninamous text. "Meet me at the clinic." I had a stinking feeling in my butt. I told him not to go. It might in danger him. Pero sabi niya, ok lang daw because life is what we make. Tumahimik lang ako. Sabi niya, "Penny for you talks." But I didn't know what to say. Beggars can't be losers. Isa pa, worried talaga ako na baka yung girl yun. Jay said, "Can't got your tongue?" I tried to smile at him. Kahit di ako nagsalita, actions speak louder than works, di ba?

Be that as is may, umalis pa rin siya. I was out of the loophole. After a few hours, I called him on his cellphone. But my calls fell on Jeff's ears. Lalo akong nag-worry kasi I didn't even know Jeff. Sabina nga ba di na dapat umalis si Jay. That's what I'm talking about it.

So I tried calling some friends who will help me find Jay. That's what friends are for naman di ba? But I just faced a blank mall. I had to do this alone. Nag-taxi na lang ako. Pero ang mahal na pala ng plugdown rate.

When I got to the clinic, the security was really buffed up. Di basta-basta makakapasok. So I said, "I beg your cordon. I'm patient.It's my favorite virtue nga e." Nagduda yata yung isang guard. Hinawakan ako sa arm. The nerd! I shouted, "Don't touch me not!" Buti na lang the other guards were nice and said, "Come on, let's join us."

When I went inside, parang I've been there, done there. Nung walang nakatingin, nag-explore ako. Nakarating ako sa top floor and I had a bird's IQ of the clinic. I could not explain it but I was drawn to a room on the floor. Siguro Divine Intermission na yun.

Parang may narinig akong umuungol. I was thorn. Di ko alam kung aalis ba ako o papasukin ko. It made me stick in the stomach to think thatJay and his ex-girlfriend were there. I tried to tell myself to slower my expectations. But to tell with it! I had to strike while the iron is not. I had to hear the truth from the corpse's mouth. I barraged in. O my gas! Si Jay, naka-strap sa operating table, parang genie pig sa isang nakakatakot na experiment. He was on the cutting edge. He was bleeding. At ang doctor na nagpapahirap sa kanya, ang ex-girlfriendniya at ang bago nitong boyfriend, ang nurse na si Walter. Doon ko napatunayang blood is thicker than Walter. Guess watch? Di ko alam kung paano ko nagawa pero I was able to search and rescue Jay. Siguro adrenaline brush na yun.

Now, he's recovering. Nag-sorry siya na hindi siya nakinig sa akin. I know it's a better pill to swallow your fried so it's forgive and forget me not. All swell that end swell. I know we should kiss and put on makeup.

Ang ex-girlfriend naman niya at si Walter, nakakulong na. Detention is really better than cure. So the moral of the lesson is: if symptoms persist, insult your doctor.

a lab story

We' ve been friends for a long time ago. We come from the same alma mother.Actually, our paths crossed one time on another. But it's only now that I gave him a second look. I realized that beauty is in the eyes. The pulpbits of my heart went fast, really fast. Cute pala siya. And then, he came over with me. He said, "I hope you don't mine. Can I get your number?" Nag-worry ako. What if he doesn't give it back? He explained naman na it's so we could keep intact daw. Sabi ko, connect me if i'm wrong but are you asking me ouch? Nabigla siya. Sagot niya,

The!

Aba ! Parang siya pa ang galit! Persona ingrata!!! Ang kapal niya! I cried buckles of tears.

Na-guilty yata siya. Sabi niya, isipin mo na lang na this is a blessing in the sky. Irregardless daw of his feelings, we'll go ouch na rin. Now, we're so in love. Mute and epidemic na ang past. Thanks God we swallowed our fried. Kasi, I'm 33 na and I'm running our time.

After 2 weeks, he plopped the question. "Will you marriage me?" I'm in a state of shocked. Kasi mantakin mo, when it rains, it's four! This is two good to be true. So siyempre, I said yes. Love is a many splendor.

Pero nung inaayos ko na ang aming kasal, everything swell to pieces. Nag-di-dinner kami noon nang biglang sa harap ng aming table, may babaeng humirit ng, "Well, well, well. Look do we have here." What the fuss!

The nerd ng babaeng yon! She said they were still on. So I told her, whatever is that, cut me some slacks! I didn't want this to get our hand kaya I had to sip it in the bud. She accused me of steeling her boyfriend. Ats if! I don't want to portrait the role of the other woman. Gosh, tell me to the marines! I told her, "please, mine you own business!" Who would believe her anyway?

Dahil it's not my problem anymore but her problem anymore, tumigil na rin siya ng panggugulo. Everything is coming up daisies. I'm so happy. Even myboyfriend said liketwice. He's so supporter. Sabi niya, "Look at is this way. She's out of our lives.

Kaya advise ko sa inyo - take the risk. You can never can tell. Just burn the bridge when you get there. Life is shorts. If you make a mistake, we'll just pray for the internal and external repose of your soul. I second emotion.

note: i had to edit the original letter for some mathematical connection.
-cacho

Papi Berday

my dad's a joker. i am guessing he timed his death just before his birthday. and what a way to celebrate, his birthday falls on november 1 or otherwise known to most catholics as all saints day.

not that my dad is anything close to a saint. my lola's favorite expression when dealing with papi is an exasperated "santa santisimo!".

nevertheless, dad is well loved by everyone - his siblings, nephews, nieces, kids, grandkids, apo sa tuhod, sa siko, sa buko-buko and the "unknowns". you see, i am the youngest - legally that is. so i really don't know if there's more that got some of papi's loving.

so here's a spread of some pics that i got during the celebration. if i were to sum it up, i can classify the people as follows: people i know, people i think i know and people i really don't know - there's just too many in the family.

the oldies and the goodies. cousins, siblings, uncles and aunts in one mash up pic

group picture again. i need a wide angled lens. the bodies are wide, reaallly wide.

nephews and nieces. pwede po sila endorser ng siopao. sarap kagatin.

si ano at si sino. nalito na rin ako. twins na pampkins ko.

BFF ni pops. hindi po boyfriend. Best Friend Forever - Tito Baby and Tita Jasmin.

Imported Cousins from Manila and La Carlota

Precious and Philip, pampkins ko.

Matira Matibay Gang. Tito Jhonny, Tita Neneng and Tita Pasit.

Eto rin, candidates for endorsers ng Siopao. Yung cousin ko, medyo nasisilaw ata.

da boys and da girl. guess which one is the da girl na lang. the one in stripes is my bro. he looks exactly like my dad. bald and beautiful.

eto ang winner sa siopao endorsements. maputi, matambok sarap kagatin

pampkins and cousins.

tita bulak, kids and grandkids.

kambal sa uma. este, kambal tuko. inseparable cousins.

sister in law, ate pinky. in fairness, ang pink ng cheeks. kamukha nya si rosanna roces

husband and wife tandem jodie and mark.

cousin linda and 'day jane. da combackers from the US

nazareth and... and... baby nya.

'day bong and tita azon. tita azon is mom's BFF. well, surrogate mother na namin eto. si bong ang drama: "i'm an orphan" - leche, XX years old ka na ate.

melanie, day jane, irene and si ano, basta dumikit na lang sya sa picture.

popopol and nazareth. labers in kabankalan

adopted doughters ni pops. tsaka si ano. di ko pa rin sya kilala.

ang ganda ng pic, kaya lang si frank palaging naka attention. militar kasi. ang tigas.

Ang Sulat ni Bebang

since i'm a morbidly funny mood nowadays and "death" seems to be the flavor of the month, i am posting bebang's letter to her family.

Ang sulat ni Bebang

Registered nurse si Bebeng sa L.A. Kasama niya ang kanyang ina na nagpagamot doon. Namatay ang ina nito. Dahil sa kamahalan ng pamasahe pabalik sa Pilipinas, nagtipid si Bebeng. Pinauwi na lang niya ang kabaong ng kanyang ina na mag-isa.

Pagdating ng kabaong, napansin ng mga kapamilya niya na nakadikit ang mukha ng ina sa salamin ng ataul. Nagkomento tuloy ang isang anak, "Ay, naku! Tingnan mo 'yan... hindi sila marunong mag-ayos ng bangkay sa Amerika! Nakudrado tuloy ang mukha ng inay."

Upang ayusin ang itsura ng bangkay, binuksan ang kabaong. Aba! May sulat na-nakastaple sa dibdib ng ina. Kinuha nila ito at binasa. Ang nilalaman ng liham na mula kay Bebeng:

Mahal kong tatay at mga kapatid:

Pasensya na kayo at hindi ko nasamahan ang nanay sa pag-uwi riyan sa Pilipinas dahil napakamahal ng pamasahe. "Ang gastos ko pa lang sa kanya ay mahigit $10,000 na. Ayoko nang isipin pa ang eksaktong halaga.

Anyway, ipinadala ko kasama ni nanay ang mga sumusunod...

Nasa likod ni nanay ang dalawampu't apat na karnenorte at isang dosenang spam. Ang adidas na suot ni nanay ay para kay tatay. Ang limang pares ng de-goma ay nasa loob ng dalawang asul na Jansport na backpack na inuunan ni nanay. Tig-iisa kayo.

Ang iba't-ibang klase ng tsokolate at candy ay nasa puwetan ni nanay. Para sa mga bata ito. Bahala na kayong magparte-parte. Sana'y hindi natunaw. Ang pokemon stuffed toy na yapos-yapos ni nanay ay para sa bunso ni ate. Gift Ko sa first birthday ng bata. Ang itim na Esprit bag ay para kay Nene.

Ate, nasa loob ng bag ang pictures ni inay, japanese version ng pokemon trading cards at stickers. "Suot ni nanay ang tatlong Ralph Lauren, apat na Gap at dalawang Old Navy t-shirts. Ang isa ay para kay Kuya at tig-iisa ang mga pamangkin ko. Maisusuot ninyo ang mga iyan sa fiesta.

Suot din ni inay ang anim na panty hose at tatlong warmer para sa mga dalaga kong pamangkin. Isuot nyo sa party.May isang dosenang NBA caps sa may paanan ni nanay. Para sa inyo, itay, kuya, dikong, Tiyo Romy. Bigyan nyo na rin ng tig-isa 'yung mga pamangkin ko at 'yong isa ay kay Pareng Tulume.

Ang tigdadalawang pares ng Nike wristband at knee caps na suot-suot din ni nanay ay para sa mga anak mo, diko, na nagbabasketball.

Tigdadalawang ream Ng Marlboro lights at Winston red ang nasa pagitan ng mga hita ni nanay.

Apat na jar ng Skippy Peanut Butter, dalawang dishwashing liquid, isang Kiwi glass cleaner at tig-aanim na Colgate at Aqua Fresh ang nakasiksik sa kilikili ni nanay. Hati-hati na kayo, huwag mag-aagawan.

Isang dosenang Wonder bra (Victoria's Secret ata ang tatak)gustong-gusto ni Tiya Iskang society natin, suot-suot din ni nanay. Alam kong inaasam-asam nyo 'yan, tiya.
Anim na lipstick lang ang kasya sa bra. Ang Rolex na bilin-bilin mo tatay, suot-suot ni nanay. Nakatakip sa Nike na wristband. Kunin mo agad, Itay.

May isinisik akong zip-loc sa bunganga ni Inay na naglalaman ng $759 dollars. Hindi na ako nakatakbo sa ATM. Puede na siguro sa libing iyon.

Iyong tong na makokolekta, i-time deposit niyo Kuya para pag namatay si Tatay may pambili na ng ataul. Ang hikaw, singsing at kuwintas (na may nakakabit pang anim na nail cutters) nagustong-gusto mo, ditse, ay suot suot din ni nanay. Kunin mo na rin agad, ditse. Ibigay mo ang isang nailcutter kay Jay bakla sa kanto.

Tanggalin niyo ang bulak sa ilong ng inay, may isiniksik ako 3 diyamante sa bawat butas. Ibangon niyo lang si inay at tiyak na malalalag na ang mga iyon. Konting alog lang siguro ng ulo.

Marami pa sana akong ipaglalalagay kaya lang, baka mag-excess at si nanay pa ang maiwan. Basta parte-parte kayo, tatay, kuya, ate, dikong, ditse. Para sa inyo lahat ito. Bahala na kayo kay nanay. Pamimisahan ko na lang siya rito.

Balitaan ninyo na lang ako pagkatapos ng libing Alam ni ate ang email ko. Paki-double check ang lista kung walang nawala sa mga ipindala ko.


love,

BEBANG

I Want You To Burn! Burn for Me Baby!

when i die, i want to be cremated. seeing dad lying there made me think that he never imagined he'd wear makeup someday. and pink lipstick.

oh yes, he had the occasional lipstick on his cheek, neck and other whereabouts, but the pink glossy one he had was just awful. it made him look dead (pun intended)

and for those that come up and say "tito carding looks really handsome", thank you. despite the fact that you know, i know and we all know that it was just a knee jerk reaction seeing pops in makeup.

there's really no handsome or beautiful corpse. otherwise, you'd have Chanel, Este Lauder, MAC, and Max Factor come up with their "necrological" line. imagine the tagline, deadly-licious.

my cousin is going to kill me. you see, she's an angel of death. este, agent of death. she works for st. peter (no, not the saint in heaven with the cock, err... that didn't sound right) and you should have seen her work the crowd of mostly aging-near-croaking visitors during the wake. i should have charged admission and referral fees. it was a tad distasteful how she brought brochures and distributed it to people. mas makulay ang buhay, sa kabilang buhay.

so every time she's around i kept repeating to everyone that it's better to get cremated. you don't have to worry about an ornately expensive coffin that's going to end up six feet under, you don't have to pay real estate space for your body to become fertilizer and, AND you don't have to open an instant sari-sari store, merienda, carinderia, buffet, dine-in only no takeout restaurant for the duration of the wake. most of all, you don't have to rip up a perfectly nice suit, barong or dress. it would have served a better purpose for Ondoy. except that wading through mud strewn streets in marikina in a suit is not exactly.. uh right. fashionable, but not right.

have a gorgeous picture of yourself propped against a vase filled with your ashes. add some dirt and plant something nice. and if you don't exactly look gorgeous in your pictures, there's always photoshop. get slimmer, have a full hair-do, flash the killer smile and be drop-dead-gorgeous. literally.

so margarita, thank you for the lovely service, but it's more than half a million more expensive than a simple cremation ceremony. and yeah, if i had the half million budget for a night's wake, i'd like to use it for an ultra-fabulous soiree and cocktail with dancing and party.

mamatay ka na sa inggit aling dionisia!.

Foodie Rebel

during the last few days of the wake i've taken the habit of eating outside the house. you see, i was "rebelling" against the idea that we've practically made the whole meal thing into something close to a fiesta of sorts.

ginataan adobo na manok
unfortunately, when you're in kabankalan there's not much restaurant options.

fortunately, melting pot is still open.

melting pot is better known for its batchoy and pancit molo and i have fond memories of the place when i was young and papang would drive over to melting pot to meet with his friends.

the kids (aka me) usually end up running around and ordering siopao and batchoy.

adobo na atay

it was a nice surprise to see that they've added to their menu (shakes, cakes, burgers, short orders and carinderia-style-viand pots). in different occassions, i tried their chicken curry, adobo na atay (liver adobo), inasal na manok (chicken barbeque) and a dish that became my personal favourite: ginataan adobo na manok.

i've actually come up with a version of my own but i used tanglad (lemon grass), luy-a (ginger), sili espada (long green chili) aside from the coconut cream, dahon bayabas (guava leaves), laurel or bay leaves (as a substitute for kaffir lime leaves) and chopped up chicken neck to come up with a spicier thai-like version of the dish.

i cooked the dish at home for my own consumption but apparently, the guests liked it and finished off the whole lot i was reserving for the next couple of days. drats.

Oysters At Iba Pang Ka-Horniness

i had some errands to do in bacolod last monday (october 12) and i met up with a couple of friends who were hosting me for the evening. i didn't realize that when they offered to have me in their home it meant they are going to camp out in the sala and me have their bedroom instead. call that filipino hospitality.

incidentally, we had dinner in manokan sa bacolod and lito ordered oysters aside from the usual inasal na manok (grilled chicken). i swear he had this uh, interesting grin on his face when he ordered the oysters. on the other hand, inday had this scared wide-eyed-about-to-be-devoured look in her eyes. hmmmm.

if you find yourself in bacolod, head off to the reclamation area near SM and look for Manokan sa Bacolod. It's an old landmark where rows of stalls offering practically the same inasal na manok vie for patrons. i remembered the place to be a bit more crowded but majority of the stalls had empty tables.

they have increased prices as well, chicken petso (breast), pa-a (thigh) now cost Php 55 pesos. isol (tail), baticolon (kidneys), atay (liver) and li-og (neck) range from 30 - 40 pesos. on the bright side, a plateful of oysters cost 50 pesos whereas this would have costed you 2,000 pesos in manila. perfect for horny peeps wanting to have their stamina up and about (amongst other things).

one of the more disappointing thing i observed is that the chicken pieces seem much smaller compared to my childhood memories of the place. gone are the thunder thighs and busty breast cuts. oh one more thing, if you haven't had your fill of inhaled carbon, the dark burnt inasal will give you a lifetime dosage.

recommended? hmmm. sure, for the experience and for the oysters. on the other hand, they have got to change the way they cook their chicken.

fiesta ending

since i was tasked to deliver the eulogy after dad's grand kid and brother, i decided to spice up the moment with a few well placed jokes. my voice cracked and i had to stop a number of times, but i was encouraged by the sound of laughter mixed with sobs.

my sister asked me to read her letter to papang, she felt scared she'd break down in the middle of her love letter. i suspect the real reason is that she won't be able to reach the podium becuase of her height.

most people don't know me in town. i left at a very young age, studied in bacolod and manila, left the country and settled in cebu. i stood in front of them without really knowing what to say or how to introduce myself.

considering dad's reputation as something of a ladies' man, i told everyone: many people ask who i am when they come visit the house, i tell them that i am the youngest of seven. hopefully.

turning towards my eldest half brother, i told the crowd: manong cesar is the eldest of the siblings... probably.

click on read.more at one point when the mood was so solemn, i turned towards tita jasmin and said: tita can you play dad's favourite song? To All the Girls I Loved Before.

i acknowledged dad's remaining three siblings, i told them, Tito Jhonny, Tita Neneng and Tito Joaquin, dad told me he won't be contesting the title "The Last One Standing". three out of nineteen, the last remaining link to a generation that spawned the tagamolila-gonzalez clan.

later in the evening, i told tita neneng that it was me who pulled a prank the previous night when i used dad's cell phone to send her a text message: I'm hir na, wer na u?

oh how she laughed. but i felt my heart break a thousand pieces when i saw her hunched in her seat in church, her shoulders heaving as tears fell.

dad would have loved the show, he loved a GREAT show. a couple of people approached us and commented that it was run very well, organized, efficient, solemn, funny and poignant. i told them, we've had practice. that or we could have charged admission and donated the proceed to little way seminary. my dad loved that place.

people nodded their heads and some averted their eyes when i pointed out that dad would have appreciated all the good things we said about him if we was still there to hear these things.

towards the end, it was heart breaking to see the workers from our farm come pay their last respect to dad. hardened and burnt men and women filed by the coffin and cried. i can't believe that all three hundred packets of food got wiped out during the burial, i suspected tita XXXX swipe a dozen to take home. she does that every single night.

the fiesta has ended, no more endless supply of coffee, sandwiches and tons of relatives dropping by the house. the silence is deafening.

on the other hand, it was clear at the end that we are not mourning his death, we are celebrating his life.

hey pops, give my regards to mom.

hostaged

the news that some of our relatives were coming in from iloilo had my sister scrambling to tell my brother to prepare for lunch. and it's not just an ordinary spread.

the night before, we had pata asado, pata hamonado, palabok overload, kinilaw and pancit canton that had more meats and ingredients compared to actual noodles. food that's going to keep one young, you see, you die early with that kind of fare.

to top it off, even my cousin who lives across the road reminded us to prepare for the visitors.

what the effing shit is that?

hearing them you would have thought we were preparing for some fiesta. my dad's gone the way of the dinosaur. extinct. kaput. dead. i didn't think it was right to make that as an excuse to do a feeding program for the horde!

click on read.more my brother complained that his budget is not going to reach an additional five days with the kind of food that's being served.

i looked him straight in the eye and said, so stop cooking like you're doing a catering service.

i mean i wanted to eat ginataan na kalabasa with uga (pumpkin in coconut cream with dried fish) but they effing care what people will think. well has it ever occurred to anyone that what matters most is what WE, the family, think? don't get me started on the pork. pork. more pork. a whole lot of pork and i have tried (very hard) to avoid eating pork.

some visitors would make it a point to come in exactly at a time when everyone's eating. today i refused to stand up from the table as i didn't want to experience another breakfast that extended beyond the expiration date of some medication on the shelf.

out of courtesy my siblings will tell them to grab a meal, they puff their chests, look down and say they have already eaten. so then, what's the effing point of coming over when we are just about to eat? so they can prove that they have had their meal?

then they sit down, ask the maids to bring them softdrinks, juice, coffee and dig in the sandwich pile like it's going to be the end of the world. right, they had their meals, they just wanted snacks.
last night one had the gall to ask if there was any dessert. and i was still eating.

i stood up, went to the kitchen, grabbed the pack of muscovado (unprocessed raw sugar), gave it to the relative and said: help yourself.

i mean seriously, would the guests have seriously minded if we prepared amargoso nga may itlog (bitter melon with egg)? what if we wanted to have utan na bisaya (mixed vegetables in clear soup)? and heaven forbid, what if we actually served chop suey where the vegetables actually outnumber the meat?

not all visitors are like that, i would have loved to think that they came to pay their last respect to my dad and not to sample the buffet meals. some of our guests and relatives who the past few months have been more than mere relatives and friends but actual partners in giving some love to my dad (they know who they are) are more than welcome to join our table, they don't complain about the food, they laugh with us, joke with us and more importantly know that we're celebrating dad's rest.

we literally save some food for dad's bestest friend (or what's left of the original group anyways) because we love him and his family. he sat with my dad while my dad's bedridden, he dozed off beside my dad, talked to him and listened to all my dad's secrets. sadly his plan to watch the pacquiao versus cotto game with dad is not going to happen.

i have cousins and relatives who stayed with dad in the hospital, visited him while he's sick and shared in the family's ordeal. they all deserve the grandest, bestest (if there's such a word), tastiest twenty one course spread in the world.

i am definitely sure they will enjoy the food, but if the food is not that grand, i am sure they would still enjoy the company of people that rarely get together. i shudder at the thought that the last memory they will have when each of them goes home is that they had the tastiest, grandest, buffet. or they were made to eat uga by the household.

then again, my family is partly to blame, we (not me) yielded to the pressure of having to prepare the engrande espesyal dishes.

i feel hostaged.

greetings gone wrong

happy birthday, happy new year, merry christmas. sounds great doesn't it?

but what do you do when someone greets you HAPPY CONDOLENCE?

i could hear dad's halakhak in heaven.

---------

kilala mo pa ko? (do you remember me?)

let's put it this way, if i have a hard time remembering the names of my co-workers who i practically see 24 hours, seven days a week, would i even remember a long lost relative who could have stayed lost and it still wouldn't have mattered?

there's this really awkward moment in between the question and me looking them in the eye with a blank stare and i utter the word:

Indi (no).

i wait a little bit longer and they start to squirm before they mutter their names before heading inside.

---------

kamusta na si papa mo? (how's your dad)

patay. (dead!)

i mean, how do i answer that particular question, i think they meant to ask how i am.

---------

over dinner, me, tito baby, melanie, irene (and some other distant relative that i couldn't remember) were talking about the priest who celebrated the mass in my dad's wake. i joked about the fact that father was sporting the "wet look".

it was so warm and we forgot to put on the fan. the poor priest was sweating so bad he used the same cloth he used to wipe the chalice on his face. i can just imagine, standing close to the coffin with a million megawatt lights turned on and am sure you'd start imagining what hell feels like. sunny, but hot.

going back to the dinner, tito baby was enjoying the dinuguan and melanie blurted out, father jun is the head of the i-youth pastoral council. for the uninitiated, i-yot means the physical coupling between partners.

tito baby almost choked as he grabbed for the glass of water.

---------

in the middle of a conversation between some of the guests in the dining area, my elder sister stepped out of the main bedroom. before closing the door, she shut the light off.

a few seconds after, we heard scrambling and noises coming from the room and the eldest sister burst out of the room with hair standing in all directions, her sleepy squinty eyes adjusting to the light before blurting out:

"daw sa gaga guid ni sya ya! nga-a gin patay mo ang suga?!"

we ended laughing so hard. obviously, my sister's really scared of sleeping alone in the bedroom with the lights off. by the way, this is the same sister who still has to take a look in dad's coffin. the irony of it all is that she's a nurse and she's seen dead people in all shapes, colors and sizes.

22:24 10/6/09

"Wla na papa subong
lang gd xa pahoway"

i read this message early morning. if we're to follow the melodramatic movie method of receiving this kind of message then i'm supposed to be in hysterics.

i felt relieved. which is weird, i just got a message that my dad passed away. it wasn't a surprise. in fact, we were expecting it. the other day, i got a call from my brother informing me that dad was really critical and doctors mentioned he might have 48 hours. he called around 10:00AM, my dad died 14 hours after. doctors suck at fortune telling.

so i'm here in the airport, getting ready for my flight at five pm. the only flight available as i scrambled to book myself a seat. then again there's really no point at this stage to rush. it's not as if they're going to have him lie in the ICU hooked up to all sorts of contraptions, resucitating my dad until i get the chance to catch him breath his last.

if there's any consolation, the next time i see him he's all wrapped up like a gift box. wherever he is am sure dad's laughing along. he's got a morbid sense of humor. heck, he'd even tell me to pack some of the sweets from the wake, just in case i needed to bring some token for the office mates.

i am glad i took that flight two weeks ago and saw him up and about, we got the chance to talk to each other. shared a laugh or two, shed a bit of tears as he told me that if i needed anything my brother promised that i'd always be welcome to join the business. i guess that was his way of saying goodbye.

i am glad that last i saw him was his toothless (nearly toothless, he had his pustiso off) face breaking into a grin, his arms reaching out as he gave me a weak hug.

he's at peace and i should be happy for him. am sure it's going to hit me pretty bad soon. for now, i'm content with the thought he's with ma.

sunday brunch

i got up from bed at 10, took a hurried shower, rushed off to church at 1045 and settled in for a carwash at 12 noon. ron wanted to eat in offroads but i really don't feel up to having the same fare of longganisa or chorizo with garlic rice an fried egg. i wanted something more substantial rather than processed meat, fried and murdered in the frying pan.

across offroads there's a sideroad (as opposed to sidewalk) eatery that's gaining popularity with the sykes call center crowd due to its affordable (and tasty) food selection. then again, sykes people don't have much choices in their building. the car fumes couldn't be worse compared to the army of darkness that huff and puff cigarettes in call centers.

so on a cloudy sunday, i present to you my lunch!

Tinola nga Manok (chicken in clear ginger broth) - remind me not to slurp on hot hot soup on a hot hot day.

Ginisa na Talong (stir Fried Eggplant in garlic and soy sauce), a bit too salty for my taste.

Giniling Na Baboy (ground pork with potatoes and carrots), fast and easy cooking

The SideRoad Eatery!

Iced Choco, a 1,001 one ways to add calorific pounds

you have to pardon me for loving the food spread on a sunday, that's the only time i feel like i don't have to rush eating and head back to the office.

up in the mountains...

many many saturdays back i got invited by le ann to go up to sirao with friends who flew in from manila. there's really no cause for celebration except for friends wanting to get together and escape manila for a weekend. sirao is this place up in the highlands and le ann has a property that overlooks cebu city and the bay. very cool weather.

as usual, it was a literal food trip with the unfortunate lechon de cebu as the gastronomic star for the day. good for them, bad for me. i've been trying to avoid having pork for the past few weeks and it's not helping my resolve to have that lechon screaming "eat me! eaaaat me!"
i kind of feel guilty every time i get an invite as le ann would refuse any offer for me to bring anything. then again, i provided the entertainment (song, dance and stand up comic all-in-one) so i guess that serves as my contribution to the get together ha ha ha.

it was a surprise to see manang busily cooking a feast in the kitchen when we got to sirao. i later found out that le ann asked manang to come back from semi-retirement from bohol (which is just like, another island away!) just for this occasion.

and manang did not disappoint. she served a superbly delicious sinigang head of lapu lapu that had me slurping a bowlful of the wonderfully sour soup. i followed it up with pan fried tangigue lightly seasoned with salt, pepper and kalamansi to retain it's fresh flavor.

since i was trying (desperately) hard to avoid the lechon, i went for the fresh lumpia and bam-i hoping that the carbo overload will keep me full. if my distended tummy and bursting shirt is any proof, i felt more stuffed than the lechon.

bam-i

fresh lumpia

i am so looking forward to the next trip. :)

joemar, ed, baby, lean, grace, malou (and manang in the background)

going home

most people look forward to going home. i wasn't.

getting to bacolod was easy, having lunch with inday, lito and ron made me smile. but deep inside i dreaded getting on that bus heading to kabankalan.

you see, this is the first time papang specifically asked for me to come home. the last time i came home he was in the hospital and i knew that it has something to do with cancer.

he had prostate cancer around fourteen years ago and it was successfully removed. but as cancer goes, it's a very treacherous ailment. after fourteen years it has come back to finish the job. this time around, it has gone through full skeletal metastasis and the reality is that there is no turning back time.

obviously my siblings had other ulterior motives why they want me to come home, it could rival a telenovela with all the plots and sub plots involved. i simply am not interested as long as no one is placed in a bad position.

my dad looked fine, outside. inside, i don't know what he's going through with the pain medication and being confined in bed 24 hours a day. i spent time talking to my dad and as always, he wanted a massage, particularly his hands and feet. his own way of making "angga", or what you'd call his way of "showing affection".

looking at me he said that if ever i find myself in a bad situation, i could always come back home. my brother apparently made that offer. i'll keep that as an option. the last option.

three days wasn't enough AND it is more than enough. mixed feelings of sadness, relief, frustration, guilt, helplessness, hope and resignation. if you ever find yourself going through that in a matter of days then you'd know what i mean.

i'm back in the city, far away, but not far from papang's side.