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Showing posts from August, 2007

what's for dinner?

it really is not such a difficult question to answer - except when you're talking to a group composed of buddhist, hindu, muslim, catholic, jain, and zorastrian friends.

buddhists generally try to eat vegetarian, hindus can't eat beef, muslims can't eat pork, catholics eat about anything, jains don't eat root crops (goodbye garlic, onions, potatoes sigh...) zorastrians make a joke they even eat their own dead - except that the one in our group happened to be allergic to anything crustacean or fishy.

so, here's a riddle for you - why did the chicken cross the road? to get away from us.

here chicky chicky chicky....

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This post is for Shehan - a very good friend in Sri Lanka, he happens to be christian so we just about ate anything with four feet, or two, or none ... miss everyone in colombo!

what's pussy

try searching for that in google and you're bound to hit one of my blog entries.

apparently, there is a very uh... disturbing pattern how stray visitors end up viewing my blog.

i did some sleuthing around and got more information how people ended up reading my blog entries. there are some people who have apparently bookmarked this site whereas some get to visit it by following a link to my spam mails (ha ha ha).

i also have a number of people who end up visiting because Samsung featured my blog that linked to an entry about travel and people using my camera phone - here's a clue, if you have been wondering how i look like and not just my bearded chin, the original picture in the Samsung Philippine site featured my face.

on the other hand, the most interesting (and often times, scandalous) are those that used google to search for some information and ended up clicking my site. here are some real google keywords you can use to search for this site:

united kingdom - what's pussy
un…

intelligence funds

it is only one of two things,
local officials are extremely stupid or geniuses bordering on insanity. the commission on audit recently released reports of 11 local towns in Cebu with unliquidated cash advances of almost Php 16.3 million and a big part of unaccounted and mysterious expenses are related to "intelligence funds". a lot of the advances are violations of Section 4.1.2 of COA Circular No. 97-002 that prohibits advances by an individual while previous transactions remain pending.

naga tops the list with p4.9M unliquidated cash advances and p3M granted to the now deceased former mayor ferdinand chiong. someone has got to explain what that intelligence fund is all about. from what i know, there's enough intelligence in the town hall - courtesy of underworked government employees who pick up the latest episode of every melodrama currently playing in town. that hardly counts as improving intelligence.

recently, the city council of cebu proposed to wipe out previous unl…

resignation letter

Ms. Fernandez,

I hereby tender my irrevocable resignation as your personal
assistant effective immediately. it has been a pleasant stay
in your company, but owing to personal reasons, I am
compelled to move on. I would like to thank you and your
good management for the wonderful experience accorded
to me during my stay in your company.

Yours truly,

enday.

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si enday nag resign sa kanila ni ms. fernandez.
ang lufet ni enday in fairness.

balita ko lang, nabibigatan na sya sa 17kg worth of make
up and accessories that ms. fernandez carries with her
daw kahit saan that aggravated her scoliosis with
additional complications to the...

ang lufet talaga.

post mortem

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"However I forgot that the hub was in Dubai and the majority of the OFWs (overseas Filipino workers) were stationed there. The duty-free shop was overrun with Filipino workers selling cell phones and perfume. Meanwhile, I wanted to slash my wrist at the thought of being trapped in a plane with all of them.

While I was on the plane (where the seats were so small I had bruises on my legs)... I heaved a sigh, popped my sleeping pills and dozed off to the sounds of gum chewing and endless yelling... “Hey there? Where are you from? Are you a domestic helper as well?” I though I had died and God had sent me to my very own private hell."

with this, malu fernandez effectively committed professional suicide by mistaking elitist statements as acerbic wit.

whereas she lived in a delusional existence as a popular-rich-wannabee-socialite, she gained infamy and the nation's desire to have her stuck on a skewer and slowly roasting in a rotisserie. a thousand hate mails of the creeping and…

Al Mighty

amidst the laughter of people inside the theater, i quickly wiped away the tear that formed at the corner of one eye. understandably, the star of "The Forty Year Old Virgin" delivered a mightily funny performance as reporter-turned-congressman that seem to be having a hallucinatory episode talking to God in "Evan Almighty".

this is one movie that i recommend strongly to everyone, in the same manner that mel gibson's The Passion of the Christ tug at my heartstrings, Evan Almighty touched my soul but had me laughing through the tears.

don't worry, nothing preachy about the movie.

"when you ask for courage, i don't give you one, i give you the opportunity to demonstrate courage."
-Al Mighty

do you have time?

God, when I received this e-mail, I thought...

I don't have time for this... And, this is really inappropriate during work.. Then, I realized that this kind of thinking is... Exactly, what has caused lot of the problems in our world today.

We try to keep God in church on Sunday morning... Maybe, Sunday night... And, the unlikely event of a midweek service.
We do like to have Him around during sickness...
And, of course, at funerals.

However, we don't have time, or room, for Him during work or play... Because.... That's the part of our lives we think... We can, and should, handle on our own.

May God forgive me for ever thinking... That... there is a time or place where HE is not to be FIRST in my life.

We should always have time to remember all HE has done for us. If, You aren't ashamed to do this Please follow the directions. Jesus said, "If you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before my Father."

Not ashamed? Pass this on ONLY IF YOU MEAN IT!!

Yes, I do Lov…

boldstars to run government

the hypothesis is that governments should be run like a corporation.

unfortunately, for the philippines, it is run like a family business - just ask the number of officials who replaced their sister, brother, mother, father, uncle etc.

in the worst case, kids, grand-kids, illegitimate heirs, genetic clones, in-laws run for mayor, vice-mayor, councilor, tongressman, gobernor, baranggay captain, tanod. an interesting note, the governor of cebu has the highest number of relatives currently holding a title in local government service numbering at 15.

given that governments should be run like a business, a corporation is not a charity and exists for one and only one reason: to earn profits. on the other hand, corporate ethics shoub be in place to ensure fair and legal practice of business.


if there is one skill that the elected local official need to master is their ability to act like a COO or the Chief Operating Officer of an organization. again, unfortunately, most of them do have that titl…

the economics of law

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i never realized that i gained some form of notoriety or political influence the day Philippine Daily Inquirer published an entry from this blog calling for estrada's conviction. i got a letter from saguisag who expounded in not so few words his desire to protect his honor as defendant of the devil. my response was succinct and direct to the point:

"whatever."

even antonio abaya has included me in his list of recipients of commentaries and columns as to the state of the country.

i am not an expert political commentator. i don't presume to hold that title like some wannabee columnist (or trying hard presidentiable senator) who has got to post some opinion on everything and anything. i don't have the hallucinatory doctorate titles added on to my name just to get some dignity to my words.

i write from the heart and mind; my fingers tap out the words that i want to scream when we don't seem to care about the state of this country.

i have gotten letters from friends an…

where in the world...

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i decided to check the map view of hits to my blog and got a visitor from United Arab Emirates (UAE). i swear, i... don't... have... anything... to do... with the... ABU SAYAD! Err... SAYAF!

i am a bit disappointed as i am expecting visits from maldives (oh wait, they got swallowed by the giant tsunami), madagascar (siraj! where the hell are you?!), thailand (jim, you still visiting the brothels?), hk (doodle?!?! don't make me come over and do my chinese-siopao-lin move on ya! lin tek, tina go, eng bee-tin sia - my beloved chinese friends?!?!)

Kidding aside, that would be ilanggo (sri lankan, former staff who now works for a travel agency in dubai), musharaff (former staff who works for Emirates), donna, ziya and some other friends who work for Qatar air.

I also got some visitors from SINGAPORE (faliq ismail, minette) which reminds me that i have to get my ass back to singapore as i promised valentina i'd meet her there from KL.

not to be missed, the AUSTRALIAn contingent fin…

global warming

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do you know who is reading you? or who visits your site? sitemeter has a cool function that tracks number of visits and the geographic location of these visitors. it was interesting to note that my site has a global community of readers.

trying to figure out my network of visitors is not that tough.


UK - the del mars, cat huang, asif

ITALY - alecx mossige, cecil smago (my close friends who got married to a swede and german respectively), pam (cousin), niezel (got married to an american based in italy)

SWEDEN - cecil (another dear friend who works for WHO)

SRI LANKA - ayoob, shehan, hussain, marlene, hisham and previous staff in HelloCorp

MALAYSIA - valentina (another barkada that settled in KL)

JAPAN - my english teacher friends, justin, kinoe

USA - moose, my sisters, cousins, uncles, aunts, lilah, mita

CANADA - rick, ed, tom

KOREA - i... i am sure i know someone from korea, at least one person related to the 100,000 who have settled in Cebu.

IRAN - nope, i haven't gotten myself recruited by…

exotic dancer

i have been attacking the gym tirelessly for a couple of months and
have been rewarded with a couple of pounds lost. pounds i gained
because of stress-related conditions working at Convergys.

in any case, i have been doing the spinning classes in all its variant,
kick some imaginary ass in the punch bag sessions, get some
coordination in the nike step workout and even managed to
squeeze my ass, err... squeeze some running in the covered
track.

the ladies in the gym have been unsuccessful in getting me to
join the hip-hop class (irony of all irony, this is one of the highest
impact workout that burns tons of calories but you need to
be fit before joining this class. a slightly rotund man - ok,
bordering on obese, doing the funky move is uh... ah...
it is a sight that can cause the biblical blindness), the ballroom
(the salsa reminds me of the sweet, tangy stuff i put on my
mexican burrito, the tango sounds way too close to mango
for comfort).

lately, they have been trying to get me to join the belly da…

Pussy Galore - What's Your Drag Queen Name?

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Your Sexy Brazilian Name is:
Gustavo FagundesWhat's Your Sexy Brazilian Name?

Your Pimp Name Is...
Pimp Daddy DazzleWhat's Your Pimp Name?

Your Drag Queen Name Is:
Pussy GaloreDrag Queen Name Generator

what animal are you?

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You Were a Crow
Eternally wise, you have a deep understanding of ethics.
You guide people from the darkness to the light.What Animal Were You In a Past Life?

hmmm somehow, i'd like it better if someone would say "you're such an animal!"... in bed. hmmmm.... as it turned out, am supposed to lead people from the darkness to the light. drats, am a dog-guide for the blind. :) this is cute.

honestly though, if i turned out to be a pig i wouldn't have posted the results. i mean, who would want to be a pig? ang baboy baboy mo! uh...

bachelor forever

last night i watched an episode of "palaban" and was getting increasingly irritated by how Solita Monsod seem to make it appear that her guests have some sort of problem for remaining bachelors despite their age (31-33) and financial capability.
an audience member even asked "wala bang kulang sa buhay ninyo?" (do you find anything missing in your lives?) and monsod added if they missed any of the love and company. marc tupaz (shamrock) answered that he finds all of the love and company from his family and friends.
monsod asked the in-house psychologist if there is anything "wrong" with these guys and continued to ask pointed questions when these guys plan to get married. the psychologist had more sense when she answered that it is much better that they don't get married until they feel that they are ready for it rather than get married because of social pressure.
towards the end of the show, monsod casually mentioned that she has a 33 year old son (lawyer, success…

labs qoute

i went through my cell phone and deleted text messages, some of
which are still remnants of the previous years. my phone is filled
with jokes, more jokes and the occasional "saying" or nice message
that i've kept because it "speaks" to me at that very moment and
instance.

I came across one favourite love quote that i'd like to share...

"To be the air that inhabits you for a moment only. I would like to be that unnoticed and that necessary." - Margaret Atwood, Canadian Poet

beauty contests

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the other weekend, gaye desperately texted ron to give her some questions she can ask in a beauty contest in barili where she was asked to judge as part of the town fiesta. ron texted her a minute after:

"you are trapped in an island with brad pitt, tom cruise, collin farrel and george clooney. the question is, HOW DID YOU GET THERE?!"

june is the month of barangay fiestas. Cebu is known to have the most number of fiestas compared to any province as each and every barangay would stage their own. in my stretch in v. rama there are three barangays and one weekend after the other, part of the road ends up getting used for the makeshift stage.

the most popular and riotous fiesta activity is the gay beauty contest. one late night, i went out to buy bread from the 24-hour bakeshop near my house and ended up watching one. during the question answer portion, the emcee asked one of the top five finalists:

q: "do you think we are facing an economic crisis?"
a: "i... i... i …

predicting the weather

i know that this may sound ridiculous, but for some reason, every time i have my car washed the day will not end without heavy rainshower. i never really noticed that "connection" until the time that my best friend pointed it out to me.

the amount of rain is also proportionate to the amount of cleaning done. if i have a simple body wash expect light rainshower, if i add on vaccuum and tire-black you shoul look forward to pretty decent strong rain and the occasional thunder. i got some waxing and minor detailing last december and the national government had to cancel the ASEAN summit because of severe storms.

it's not because it is rainy season as this phenomenon happens without fail even during the severest days of summer. it has come to a point that i would send text messages to my closest friends every time i make an excursion to the car wash. we joke about it, but it really, truly happens.

vince had his son christened a couple of weeks back, he called me midday to reques…

sunday distractions

going to church is never convenient. we drag ourselves out of bed on the day that most of us want to just roll around lazily in bed, we choose our clothes carefully to look a bit decent when i'd rather wear my old worn out shorts and flip-flops, drive to church trying not to shout expletives to early morning traffic monsters, fight for parking space, and if you're running a bit late, get some butt space in church where the heat seem to pervade the air.

going to church is never convenient, and that is precisely the reason why i personally value my time at church, because it is my sacrifice to be able to talk silently with God.

i know i haven't been burning the lines to heaven and am sure if prayer is a pre-paid connection, my hundred peso load will probably last me till the end of the year. i probably use it to send a quick text message "God, You there?" every time i get on a plane to visit a client in another island.

anyways, today at church was a bit more distract…

chocolate is bad for you.

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there are new conclusive studies that indicate chocolate may be bad for you. chocolate causes your feet to shrink and neck to disappear. on the other hand, they are natural bust enhancers. women rejoice in that fact but men groan in despair as they seem to cause man-boobs.

there are worse and adverse effects for men. the same study indicate that there is a proportionate shrinkage in the man-penis the more chocolate they eat. some men have complained that they can't see their penis or their feet.

spilling blood

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before pasig river became a mutant life-form, it used to have clear running water, fish swimming along and people taking a swim. few can remember that time when "mutya ng pasig" (muse of pasig) meant pure and virginal. nowadays, mutya ng pasig can be bought for Php 200 short time, and when business is really bad, free. except that no one would even care to enjoy pasig, we end up holding our breath till we are blue on the face so we avoid smelling the putrid gas that float to the surface and "pop".

as citizens, that is how we mutilated and raped our own land.

almost a year ago, guimaras was considered to be the next "mutya" on the rise. luscious mangoes can be had and virginal white coasts extend from the northern to southern tip of the province. until solar 1 sank off the coast of nueva valencia (11 august 2006) and leaked black blood that tainted the white sands and destroyed marine reserves along the southern coast.

i am posting memories of a now unnamed r…