Non Existent

who needs enemies when you have friends like these...

that's a perfect line for some people who managed to cross the line between friends and enemies. i suppose that's what you call "frenemies". unfortunately, cebu is indeed a very very small circle that you end up bumping into people that is like anti-matter: someone you don't want to be in the same space with or something that you end up scraping off your sole when you step on it. -- click on read.more --

on a related note, i got invited to a party where i was tasked to take pictures of the celebration: short of asking the offensive "presence" to stay out of the frame, i have to come up with very "creative" ways to take them out of the picture.

1. It's all about the Angle: nothing stays "perky" forever. despite numerous visits to Dr. Jekyl and Hyde they all end up going south. be there to catch a perfect picture of jaws sagging, breasts pointing in different directions, etc etc.

2. cut their heads off: catch them with half a face or half their heads chopped off from the frame.

3. Blur blur blur: focus on another subject, make sure they end up with blurred faces. wait, that may actually make the wrinkles disappear, so...

4. sharpen the knife: do some photoshop magic and do selective sharpening. what better way to show off years worth of wrinkles that can't be hidden by tons of ever bilenna makeup.

5. expose it: proper exposure leads to a well lighted face, bad exposure is the equivalent of florescent light on skin. have you ever wondered why you look butt ugly in your driver's license?

6. darkness surrounds you: another good application of exposure, make sure that the offensive party is shrouded in their own evil darkness. no matter if they're right smack in the middle, they will come out dark - gluthathione won't help you dear.

7. disappearing act: better yet, use cloning in photoshop to erase any and all offensive presence in the picture. it is infinitely more pleasing to see a goat alongside the group portrait than to look at the inspiration for horror movies.

FORTUNATELY for these frenemies, i can't be bothered to do any of these things as it takes painstaking effort for a digital facelift. so i did the next best thing: mark their faces with blank emptiness, they are non existent after all!


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