Sunday, June 01, 2008

Caregiver - Da Adbentyur of Tita Shawie

every filipino movie require an advanced screening for a perfect opportunity to film screaming fans streaming out of the theater with platitudes of praise for the actors. in the spirit of such inane exercise, i sent maricelian spies to list down some controversial quotable lines from the recent premiere of Caregiver, starring our very own mega star Sharon Cuneta:

"Ang galeng ni ate shawie! Esfeyktacular!"

"Tagal namin naghintay para sa felikula na toooh!" - sana tumagal pa lalo, like forever?

"Ang ganda pala sa London! Bagay si Ate Shawie dun! Naaaay! Taaaay! Nasa TV po ako..." - o hala kung sino man ang ang inutangan ng hinayupak na to, alam nyo na kung nasaan sya: sa TV.

"My gosh, I can related to her eksperyens! I'm a caretaker too!" - ah, the cemetery caretaker?

"Ang TABA NI ATE SHAAAAAAWIE!" - itigil ang kameraaaaaa! sigaw ni direk.

last i heard, the legion of sharonians did a lynching in meygamall just like what happened to the poor fellow who decided to ask a difficult question in Jun Lozada's forum in Cebu. am pretty sure i'd be getting the equivalent of shawie's weight in hate mail after this post: a ton.

to quote da megastar, "kung saan, kailan, at paanong labanan, magpasabi ka lang. Hindi kita uurungan" - Sharon Cuneta, [Dapat Ka Bang Mahalin] 1984

sige game, bayaran mo plane ticket at accommodation going to Lawndon.

You can criticize her acting skills, heck even make fun of her singing. You can even poke Kiko Matsing, este Pangilinan with a burning iron rod, but never, never, neeeeever her weight. If I were her, i'd launch my own product: Chi-Sharon, mataba-taba na at greasy pa.

from my totally unreliable showbiz moles (aka, ate glow, the gayest mole of asia), ate shawie refused to be seen together with ex-husband gabby konsumisyon, much more do a movie project with him. you see, this would be the first movie of theirs that shawie's face is much bigger than the cheeky gabby.

but hey, it's not like i matter to her. she's not even going to mind this post. she's bigger than that. uh, i didn't mean it that way. okay end of post, this topic is waay to heavy. uh...

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