incessant rambling

i admit, i have taken up my old profession. yes, i work at night, staying up late and servicing all kinds of customers. haggling for prices and services. i go home early in the morning only to get some sleep before getting up in the evening to prepare for a workout in the gym (to make sure i am fit and healthy for the work that i do) before going back to work. yes, i am a call boy. i work for a call center. he he he

just to set the record straight, am a catholic, i do my sunday mass, completed a number of novenas, pray for my family, friends, enemies and partner every night, i ask my angel to look over me every morning, engage in healthy discourse about my faith, i believe in the One True God, my family is very religious (ask my great grandpa, he's a spanish friar), i have a number of cousins who are priests, nuns (throw in a couple of NPA rebel commanders and some PMA military officers) i don't want to be born again, i prefer to be THHHHIRTY SOMETHING am perfectly happy with being catholic though not necessarily in agreement with everything said in the lectern what i'm not is one who follows blindly like the sheep .

i was having a conversation with erich about the pope and the recent events surrounding his speech. out of the blue, erich mentioned: erichjao: i never really liked the way he looks erichjao: i've always had this name that pops up when i see his face erichjao: judas iscariot erichjao: funny but its true i thought it was just me who had this feeling about the way the pope looked. i'm the last one to judge anyone by the way they look, but there are emotions evoked that seem to come out of nowhere. then erich said... " jeez, i've always told ruby that the end of the world is at hand... oh i don't mean just around the corner but its nearer now than ever. " let's hope he is a madam auring or madam rosa protege. puro chika, walang katotohanan, walang kabuluhan dahil ang reporter ay natutulog din. add on... popped the same thought to my friend cybs, sabi nya... "Actually, rumor has it that he's the devil incarnate!" I told her.. "but you know ...

am treading on dangerous ground. someone once said that when having a discourse among acquaintances, avoid topics of religion and politics. there is no greater struggle waged among men and countries in the name of politics thinly veiled with religion. over the weekend, raw emotions have emerged among the muslim groups over a speech delivered by the current pontiff, pope benedict xvi, that purportedly quoted emperor manuel ii paleologos of the orthodox christian byzantine empire (the seat of what is now known as modern day turkey) saying: " Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached. " ( for those inclined, click here for a copy of the speech in pdf format, courtesy of bbc ) this is part of a discourse related to the concept of "holy war", of religion and of violence - a topic that the current pope is known to have a very strong stance. it is un...

just got off from a conversation with an old friend. we used to have our sunday brunch after gym, then hit seattle's best in the mega strip for coffee and talk about life. fast forward to the present and our conversations are held between polar timezones. thank God for technology. we laugh in turn remembering the things we did as young(er) men, then getting all serious trying to assess where we are right now. at that point he was engaged to be married while i was in between relationships. he's now dating again whereas am getting settled with my partner. talk about reversal of roles. ever had a pal who shoots you down when you get too high up on your saddle? a pal who picks you up and consoles you when the echo of hitting rock bottom seem to ring between your ears? he does that for me, and he bloody knows that i'd do the same for him. despite all of our accomplishments, we are still at that point in our lives where our linear lives hit a crossroad at every turn. purely out o...

an acquaintance sent me a text message: " saw you today, called to say hi but you were busy swinging from one tree to the next. " my initial reaction is to simply delete the message. but at one point one gets a bit tired of snide remarks, though sent as a joke, can be rather demeaning. specially if that someone barely counts as an acquaintance, much more, a friend. i replied.. " i heard the call, just didn't want to say hi to the fat (pause), ugly (pause), elephant. " another possible reply would be... " i didn't know elephants had thumbs and fingers! it's amazing how you can text! " he stopped texting, and am glad to be rid of another annoying asshole. ouch.

open my passport and you'd see stamps from all over asia: malaysia, thailand, singapore, vietnam, japan, hong kong, sri lanka, india and you're bound to form a false impression that i must be having a grand time on vacation. i am getting close to becoming an expert in international airport interiors, that and hotel rooms, office boardrooms and the semi-catatonic state of catching precious sleep from one meeting to another. people have the mistaken notion that travelling internationally = glamorous lifestyle. it may seem like that, but at one point you wake up in a hotel room and you can't even remember what time it is or where you are and you get the feeling that there is no place like your own bed. note: the picture above is an architectural detail of the interiors of KLIA, the one on the right side is myself on board a cx plane, unsure of where am going...

huuu.... haaaah, yeah! you can do it! harder! faster! rock that hip. wooooh! for your information, i just finished a session of step class in cebu holiday spa. i admit, that previous line reads like a blog from a pervert. if you insist on doing the comparison (i have very little resistance, and since YOU insist...), it is very much like sex. wobbly knees and sweaty body. darn. need a cigarette. in any case, i walked towards the water fountain to get some much needed h20 and one of the guys running on the treadmill like a hamster called out... "is that hard? girls like that class..." you get the drift, this fellow is insinuating that the step class is meant for girls and sissies. that and the fact that it is a no-brainer class. duh. scientifically, women have a higher tolerance for pain (that's why they are the ones who give birth, not guys. Believe me, uranus is not that big, a?%$?le, and i don't mean the planet). furthermore, the step class improves your eye and hand...

The following is an excerpt from Paulo Coelho's blog Warrior of Light . "Pay attention to your allies A warrior does not associate with anyone who wishes him harm. Nor is he seen in the company of those who want to “co nsole” h im. He avoids whoever is only at his side in moments of defeat. These false friends want to prove that weakness has its rewards. They always bear bad news. They always try to destroy the warr ior’s tr ust, under the disguise of “solidari ty”. When they see him injured they break into tears, but deep in their hearts they are happy because the warrior has lost a battle. They fail to understand that this is a part of combat. A warrior’s true com panions are at his side at each and every moment, in times both difficult and easy." -------------------------------------------------- i have a story about a group of girl-friends who claim to be great friends. they do the party circuit, hang out in bars, do the usual get together lunches, host parties, date...

"uy tol, anong ginawa mo last weekend?" "la masyado, had visitors come in saturday, sinundo ko sa airport tapos met up with an old old friend on vacation tsaka mga barkada nya..." "girls?" "mas marami girls sa group..." "meron ba tall, pretty and kind?" nakow po, umandar na naman ang pantasya nitong bata na to. para sa di nakaka-alam, basahin ang Elepantasya Serye entry ko.. "oo." "nakow ba't di mo naman ako tinawag?" at this point di ko alam kung anong isasagot ko, pwede ring "di namin kailangan ng mascot" o di kaya, "kaibigan ko sila, at bilang kaibigan kailangan ko proteksyunan ang kanilang kapakanan." pwede ko ring banatan ng "ba't ganun, pag kaibigan ko gusto mo makilala, pag ikaw me bisita di ko man lang nakita ang mga anino?" ngumiti na lang po ako sabay sabi... "ay nako tol, maglaro na lang tayo ng badminton." ayoko po makapagsalita ng masakit, kaya eto sinusul...

once upon a time i went to manila for a short trip. it was horrible. i don't like the smoke, much less the traffic. i mean, i can actually conduct a conversation with the passengers of a car creeping along edsa from the airport to makati. the only other entertainment would be to stare at huge billboards of flash-in-the-pan actors and actresses that cater from tsinelas (slippers) to dragon katol. that or open your window and get a high from the swirling carbon dioxide that cars and busses belch like anything. side note - manny pacquaio has literally made pakyaw (hoarded) all of the endorsements. it would be interesting if he were to promote TRUST condoms. slogan... " isang round ka lang ! (one round you only! - ugh, this literal translation sounded off, waaaaay off.)" getting back to the main gist of this entry, night came upon quickly enough and vampires started to roam the streets - suckers who can easily hypnotize you with alluring eyes and drain your wallet of cash. oh...

after a long flight from manila to bangkok, my first thought was to hit the inviting bed and take a couple of zzzzs when the phone rang. ho hum, the usual call from the hotel, welcoming guests... " good evening sir, would you like girls to your room? russian, chinese and thais... very young, very nice, very good! " for a moment i thought they were promoting the international cuisine in their restaurant. blame it on a tiring trip, but after a couple of seconds i realized they were offering an extra kind of room service. let's put it this way, if i wanted to eat anything raw i'd be hitting a japanese restaurant. politely, i declined the offer. the phone rang again and i was getting irritable of having to prolong the agony of burying my face in the soft pillows. " did they call you about uh... you know... uh... " my travel mate was stuttering on the other line. i guess he was a victim of the same call. " yeah.. and don't act so naive about this one, th...

last night i got a text message from an old friend i recently bumped into. he asked if i can help him and his wife land a job in a call center. it should be easy for me since am into manpower sourcing. should be. but the reality is i don't want to endorse someone just on the strength of having old ties. it's my name on the line. i certainly don't want to run him through the process of doing a pre-interview to check competencies. what if, what if he doesn't make it? do i have the right to tell him that he probably won't make the cut? maybe he will, maybe he won't, but that's one thing i don't want to risk finding out. i did the best thing, told the fellow that the companies process walk-in and he can probably get his interview and assessment within the day. should be the end of the story. but like a terminal case of bad sequels, he asked if he can place my name as reference. ok... let's review the facts, haven't seen the fellow in about two decade...

Our generation is getting older with no one to succeed us, our children are suffering greater tragedies and we live in a generation where we are paying for our forefathers' sins. Yet for all our rhetorics of learning from history, we are dangerously close to setting the stage for our children to suffer the consequences of our foolishness. In a report on World Population Estimates , 6.3B humans live today, of which half of the children population (estimated at about 1B) are suffering from War, Poverty and AIDS according to UNICEF (click here for a full story in CNN). These are mere figures indicative of a greater risk for Humanity. of the 6.3B humans, roughly 2B are children and the World Population Estimate reports indicate that the average annual growth rate is rapidly declining from a rate of 2.19% in 1962 (the baby boomers) to 0.90% in 2020. From a non statistician perspective, to replenish humanity, couples need to have an average of 2.25 children to move on to the next genera...

Since you are reading this entry... if you don't recommend this blog spot to anyone, you will get a zillion years of bad zits. Hmmm, that is rather cheeky... I think I'm going to start a fad of Chain Blogging where the purpose is to post comments in someone else's blog for them to read yours with the usual consequences of hell and damnation if they don't. Uh... don't think this is a good idea. Ok, to quote one public show host every time she veers away from the topic... "But I digress..." Seriously though, I think I've heard her mutter... "But I undress..." now that would be really interesting. Seriously now... am going out of the original topic, what the hell, these are my thoughts... So now... How Do We Get Rid or Annoy Chain Mail(ers)? More specifically, those chain e-mails that flood your inbox when some of your buffoon of a friend suddenly goes superstitious? Have you ever received a chain e-mail that says, ...please don't break this...

A coin has two sides. So does the world we live in. We watch CNN and BBC and we see updates of lives lost in Iraq , Afghanistan , Thailand , Africa . More significantly we are bombarded with images of Americans and the British mourning the loss of their own in this rather senseless war. All for the simple fact that they wanted to take out Saddam Hussein who murdered 5,000 of his own people and represents a threat to "global security". To date, America has lost more than 1,000 of its patriots in this war, but no one bothered to count the hundreds of thousands of Iraqis who died - innocently or due to to the war. No one is being held accountable for the death of innocents, not a single apology. Let me ask this, who will mourn the death of 76 Muslim Thais forced like cattle into trucks? Who will grieve for the 70,000 people massacred in Darfur by the Sudanese Government and ethnic Arabs? Who will give solace to hundreds of Palestinians and Israelis suffering in a battle that ...

here's a collection of well loved proverbs in english and the local vernacular... when you are running out of wise things to say, keep this handy :) (Old) When the cat is away, the mouse will play. (New) When the cat is away, the mouse is alone.. (Old) An apple a day, keeps the doctor away. (New) An apple a day, is seven apples a week! (Old) early bird catches the worm (New) Early bird catches the Early Worm (well am pretty sure there are late worms as well) (Old) ang di marunong lumingon sa pinanggalingan ay di makakarating sa patutunguhan (New) ang di marunong lumingon sa pinanggalingan ay... nag te-text. (Old) Aanhin pa ang damo kung patay na ang kabayo. (New) Aanhin pa ang damo... e hindi naman ako kabayo. (New) Aanhin pa ang damo... e meron namang shabu. (Old) Birds of the same feather, flock together. (New) Birds of the same feather, make a good feather duster (New) Birds of the same feather, are probably the same kind of birds (Old) Tell me who your friends are, and I'll...

If indeed Rep. Cuenco intended to give money to Hung (as alleged by Dalawampu) he wouldn’t be that naive or stupid to do it INSIDE the court, in the presence of literally EVERYONE. Furthermore, considering that Hung is implicated in the case of Shabu manufacturing where millions of pesos is involved, giving a pittance of thousand peso bills would be an insult to Hung. This boggles the mind in plain absurdity. Her comment that Cuenco had a lot hanging on to Hung does not shadow the fact that she also has a lot hanging to Tan as he is the one that pays off her bills and legal fees. Everyone has vested interests in this case, we can only presume that Cuenco’s interest is in upholding the law by ensuring that those that are found guilty are sentenced appropriately. I wonder what Dalawampu’s interest is. My own stake at this item? As a concerned citizen, I hope that the trial is not clouded by trivialities that seek to distract rather than clarify the real case. One irrefutable fact re...

Some products never make it to the grocery shelves. Specially if it's the same product in new packaging but delivering exactly nothing to the consumer. I am just one of many Filipinos who grew up to TANG na orange juice served on the breakfast table and mid afternoon merrienda . It doesn't come as a surprise that the general buyer reject new variants by a young dynamic company that spun off from the original to introduce the imPEACHment juice to the market. Most believe it's just a failed reincarnation of the same product packaged in new corrugated boxes. I heard they had seven variants of the corrugated boxes to present. The consuming public doesn't even want to look into the boxes despite the claims of the new company that there are new ingredients thrown into the mix. Never mind that they even claim to have holy water as an ingredient instead of plain water. They totally forgot to tap market research to answer the question, does imPEACHment juice seek to find a bet...

I tell myself that religion is an institution and faith is my personal relationship with God. It just happens that the expression of one's faith is usually done through religion. What if the institution that you trust with your faith is fast losing its bearing? Does it lessen one's faith or faith turns a blind eye to what the institution is doing? Too often we hear of the phrase Blind Faith to describe our relationship with religion, but a distinction should be made that Faith is attributed to one's belief in a God and not belief to an institution such as the Church. In this clear delineation of Faith and Institution, it is easier to be objective and impartial when it comes to acts by the Institution. Too often the Institution involves itself in a lot of political issues using Liberation Theology as the foundation to justify the involvement of the Roman Catholic Church in political activism, particularly in areas such as social justice, poverty and human rights. On the oth...

a death in the family is a very sad event. usually. so it must be a wonder for guests who came to pay their last respect to my mom when they hear cousins and relatives laughing at some bawd joke or catching up after a long time not seeing each other. i can imagine some stuffy guest saying something about not giving due respect or some hypocritical comment. let me remind people that the dead doesn't hear praises or cries that reach the rafters of heaven. am sure they'd run away screaming if mom suddenly appeared beside them and gave her personal thanks. reminds me of my sis, she was standing beside the coffin and talking with mom, "ma... remember what we said about whoever dies first gets to visit the one left? I'd like you to come visit me..." aw shucks, a really sappy line... "... just make sure you don't do it at night when am driving." - makes sense. for those hypocrites, mom would have appreciated their visit when she was alive, not when she'...

I have an aversion for family-related socials. I am sure many of you single-something-twenty five year old-poor souls have had to endure the endless questions about your being single or other inane and ultimately inappropriate questions from a host of uncles, aunts, cousins, wannabe relations, total strangers and the occasional stalker. Am sure this topic has been covered in numerous angst driven discussions but the matter takes on a different turn when the socials we are referring to is a funeral wake. To be more precise, the funeral wake of my mother (ma, am sure you're going to get a great big ha ha ha from this one so bear with me). There must be some rule about asking really stupid questions in a funeral. Let's see... how about "The coffin looks really good (pause), I wonder how much it costs?" If you're silently sitting beside the source of irritation, I won't be surprised if you find your hands "accidentally" around the neck of the idiot. I h...

Waking up at 4 in the morning so I can take the early 5 am bus trip from Kabankalan, Negros to Cebu City is hard. As in really hard. Unfortunately, no airconditioned bus leaves Negros that early so I had to take the regular bus. It really did seem like a good plan. It was an innocent enough start, few passengers, the occasional early chicken making a mad dash accross the road. Hmmm... the early chicken gets the early worm. In any case, the usual routine of picking up passengers along the way turned into something absolutely ridiculous when we first made our major stop and had to pick up a fellow who loaded up 12 bags of livestock feed on top of the bus. It took thirty minutes just to secure the bags with a rope and tie it up so it doesn't fall over when the bus hits 100 fucking crazy kilometers an hour. From Mabinay we made our way to Bais City and stopped for some passengers waiting with a herd of goats along the road. I thought... hmmm... isn't that sweet? the family is sendi...

Just a quick note, for a suit that's impervious to a gattling gun pumping away at Syoops chest, the doctor had no difficulty ripping it off in the operating table. Uh, I guess it comes with invisible zippers. And that hair, that hair is absolutely stooopid. If you were to slow it down frame per frame you'd probably see Syoops pulling out a jar of Gatsbys and carefully curling it with a super heated curling iron. The disguise is absolutely ridiculous as well, I mean, fearless reporter Lois Lane, Pulitzer winner couldn't even figure out that the only difference between syoops and clark is a pair of glasses. Oh uh.. forgot, yeah... the trunks worn on top of the tights. Nuff said.

A Strong Woman. Throughout her life my mother, Patricia Abanilla Ponce Tagamolila has sacrificed her own comforts for those that she loves. She’d be the first to give up her own needs for the sake of the family. My earliest recollection of how she worked hard to get us through our difficult times was when she would wake up early morning to cook some sweets, this she would sell in front of the school fronting the town plaza (ERAMS?). The irony of the situation is that she comes from a family that is well off in her times. It was never really clear how it came to be, but from what I remember my Spanish-Chinese grandparents were against her marrying into my dad’s family. It was probably from the fact that my dad already has a son from a previous relationship. My dad is not exactly the favorite of his family either, as a consequence they started their lives in a very modest living condition up in the mountain-farm of Kanjakap - a piece of land that my father was given to till. My elder sib...

2 July 2006, I find myself in church listening to the gospel about Jairus daughter who was sick and was healed by Jesus (Mark 5:21-24) and about a woman who through faith and a mere touch of His robe was cured of her sickness. It would seem like an ordinary gospel reading if not for the fact that my own mother is dying at this very moment and it would seem my faith is not holding up. I've accepted the reality that she is dying - it is the only certainty in this uncertain world, death is the end of everything. I close my eyes and pray with all my heart that she is taken up by the Lord Jesus and is spared the pain. That is the only consolation I can ask for. I sometimes ask myself, am I willing to give up my life for my mother? Fearful thoughts run through my head and though I think "it", I know I don't have the strength to really ask of that boon. A selfish thought one might surmise, but in the end, I am held by my own human desires and need. That is why when God gave ...

My mom had her follow up CT Scan first week of May 2006. The results are not that great, ok, bad. Suffice to say that the cancer has progressed to the lungs, liver and the aorta. The doctor has prescribed another medicine (Tarceva) to compliment Gemzar. The data though is not that encouraging as the results of using the medicine in combination with Gemzar does not really significantly increase survival or tumor response. Then again, the reality is that we are now working on extending survival of my mother, cure at this stage is not really within "logical" expectations. But when it comes to life, logic seem to have no reason. Despite the financial burdens, we continue to work on getting her treatment - as my sister said, she wouldn't give up on us, and thus we are not giving up on her. When I pray to God I hardly say please CURE her, the reality of the matter is that I pray that she be spared from the pain. I have a hard time dealing with the pain. I seriously think of shu...

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