An Ending (x)
2 July 2006, I find myself in church listening to the gospel about Jairus daughter who was sick and was healed by Jesus (Mark 5:21-24) and about a woman who through faith and a mere touch of His robe was cured of her sickness.
It would seem like an ordinary gospel reading if not for the fact that my own mother is dying at this very moment and it would seem my faith is not holding up. I've accepted the reality that she is dying - it is the only certainty in this uncertain world, death is the end of everything.
I close my eyes and pray with all my heart that she is taken up by the Lord Jesus and is spared the pain. That is the only consolation I can ask for.
I sometimes ask myself, am I willing to give up my life for my mother? Fearful thoughts run through my head and though I think "it", I know I don't have the strength to really ask of that boon. A selfish thought one might surmise, but in the end, I am held by my own human desires and need.
That is why when God gave His only Son to die for all the mortal sinners of this world, there is no greater Love and Grace given to us for a Father to sacrifice His own Son, an act of Godly work.
We sometimes ask for the Lord to heal and perform miracles of faith, to save the damned, to heal the dying. The reality is, not all wishes can be granted. The only promise of God is His Grace, His promise that He will take us all up in His embrace at our last moments in this earth.
I only ask for His Grace to take my mother up in His arms. Not for cure, not for miracles. Lord, by Your Grace, I ask of spiritual salvation for my mother. May she sit in your presence and find the happiness that she has not lived in this lifetime.
This is an ending to a life lived well, but this is the beginning of a life under Grace. May God bless you dear mother.
It would seem like an ordinary gospel reading if not for the fact that my own mother is dying at this very moment and it would seem my faith is not holding up. I've accepted the reality that she is dying - it is the only certainty in this uncertain world, death is the end of everything.
I close my eyes and pray with all my heart that she is taken up by the Lord Jesus and is spared the pain. That is the only consolation I can ask for.
I sometimes ask myself, am I willing to give up my life for my mother? Fearful thoughts run through my head and though I think "it", I know I don't have the strength to really ask of that boon. A selfish thought one might surmise, but in the end, I am held by my own human desires and need.
That is why when God gave His only Son to die for all the mortal sinners of this world, there is no greater Love and Grace given to us for a Father to sacrifice His own Son, an act of Godly work.
We sometimes ask for the Lord to heal and perform miracles of faith, to save the damned, to heal the dying. The reality is, not all wishes can be granted. The only promise of God is His Grace, His promise that He will take us all up in His embrace at our last moments in this earth.
I only ask for His Grace to take my mother up in His arms. Not for cure, not for miracles. Lord, by Your Grace, I ask of spiritual salvation for my mother. May she sit in your presence and find the happiness that she has not lived in this lifetime.
This is an ending to a life lived well, but this is the beginning of a life under Grace. May God bless you dear mother.
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