Friday, April 04, 2008

The Cat's Out of the Bag!

Kitty Go, a self proclaimed Brian Gorrell fan, is at it again. this time her claws are out and sharpened on snotty snob society wannabees. it's rare that i go home early enough to catch the local news but i caught her interview on ABS-CBN where she lets loose a few, well, not so few, witty quotable quotes that lambasted the so called card carrying NOCDs ("Not Our Class, Darling") subjects of THE scandalous blog that's still the subject of oh so many lunches.

She earned the ire of Manila High Society when she came out with two books ("Chic Hits the Fan: Celebrity and Fashion Confessions of a Former Magazine Editor" and "Chic Happens: An Explosive Celebrity and Fashion Insider Account.") that was a thinly veiled reference to the illusion of a (glamorous) lifestyle that she herself was born into but curiously unaffected and grounded. Kitty Go is her own style and the brands she wears are simply commodities and not conversation pieces, she is that chic AND grounded.

here's an article i dug up in the vast tunnels of the inquirer archive and am reprinting it (without permission of course). she got me cracking up, good thing am too young to afford botox otherwise i'd have cracked my face with a wide toothy grin.

even though i am tempted to go and buy me-self copies of her book, i am afraid that my certified-jologs meter won't even recognize the people parodied in the fictional (you gotta love the irony of that one). if anything, i can enjoy the sharpest wit of the lady with "balls the size of Jupiter".

Age Against the Machine : A little birdie told me that you're a big piece of chic

Posted 03:06am (Mla time) April 30, 2005
By Gino dela Paz
Inquirer News Service

PROLIFIC publishing paragon and-in her own words-nice bitch with a pusong mamon (soft heart), Kitty Go took two weeks between ski runs in Megeve, France to write her first book "When Chic Hits The Fan."

This fashion-heavy, stiletto-sharp and obscenely hilarious piece of fiction power-vomits at Manila's social-climbing carousel as well as the revolving door of not-smart artistas that call it home. This lady has balls the size of Jupiter and I bet she's on a lot of people's hitlists by now. Scratch that--I mean, ESPECIALLY now.

"Hmph! It's fiction and I cannot believe people would be so self-absorbed to think they orbit my Diptyque-scented universe! Well, maybe they can as long as they wear Viktor and Rolf..." Kitty trails off, perhaps referring to some card-carrying members of the NOCD (Not Our Class, Darling).

In this Super! exclusive ambush interview, Kitty reveals the philosophies of a wired-to-the-gills fashionista whose parents once thought she was screwing her beloved dogs. And my, her Chanel-coated claws are pretty pointed.

Number one, I have advice for anyone before they read this book. They have to first get a dictionary and look under letter "F" for the word "fiction." If you do not have a dictionary, you can get one at National and buy my book there at the same time.

I have been away from Philippine media for such a long time that I cannot recall the gaffes I have encountered. But the most fun I've had was on morning Tagalog radio with Deo Macalma on DZRH who likes to push my buttons and Arnold Clavio on DZBB who had a sign up for me in the studio that read "Speak Tagalog, please!" You want quick wit? These two can think faster than government officials can steal.


I didn't get to meet many stars personally because most couldn't stand my Pilates-developed guts but what I loved most was the day after shoots when my staff would herald me with the stories of misbehavior and the mangled use of the English language which William Safire of the New York Times would certainly have us crucified over. (Now THAT is fodder for another book)

I did a bit of research and found out "When Chic Hits the Fan" was actually the title of a tell-all article you wrote for Inquirer's Sunday Lifestyle section in 2002. Tell me, is it possible for chic people to be genuinely happy?

Chic Hits the Fan was originally my Preview column with the byline The Honorable Lady Izza Tramp. I love that title which someone at Preview at that time thought of for me. I try to use it as much as I can-and this book was my biggest chance.

There is absolutely no way for chic people to be truly happy because the truly chic are usually intelligent. People who think are usually miserable because they constantly worry about how they can sharpen their wits further or in my case, that they will not be able to get snide remarks into conversations. Most of all, they worry about what to wear. Don't you? I do all the time even if it's between a white t-shirt and a whiter t-shirt.

My mother used to get mad at me for being sarcastic but now I have found my true calling and it ain't the church and charity, okay?

You said in your book that you "always felt that celebrities were a dime a dozen and wannabes were ten centavos, buy one take one." Who's in the bargain bin right now?

OOHH. How much time do you have? There are so many in the bargain bin we would need to dump them in Megamall. Okay-maybe we should talk about who is NOT. And this depends not on their popularity but how they interact with people.

Jolina is my favorite. I also like Mikee Cojuangco and Agot Isidro. I love Kuya Germs just because he is too Liberace for words and my husband proposed to me in front of his TV program so I have great memories.

Ate Vi, because she was so nice to me when I used to carry her shoes, costumes and sampaguita and Santo NiƱo into her dressing room. Her shoes are all in boxes, too. Like mine!! And now she's a fabulous mayor.

I also like Sharon Cuneta even if she is mad at me for making fun of her weight. She's really a megastar and a mega-mom. Something has to be said for celebrities who are really nice to 'the little people' who I dedicated the book to because I was one of them. Tito, Vic and Joey I really enjoyed working with--plus I saw one of them carrying Chaucer (I wonder if he read it or used it to hold his coffee).

My all time favorite has to be former president Joseph Estrada because he always makes me laugh plus he fed me and didn't make me wait. (Well, I did have to wait for FPJ to say goodbye at that time). Unlike GMA who only gave me snappy answers and Tang and tuna sandwiches that gave me the runs.

You used the word "connoisseurship" in your book and I think it's something that's sorely lacking in media right now. There are actors who can't act, writers who can't write and best-dressed people who wear Mango (on sale) for crying out loud. It's hard to find people who know what they're really talking about. What do you think?
Aside from connoisseurship, we also lack guts in media. And I have more than enough of that to donate to the Red Cross.

Well, I really think as our entire universe gets older, we not only get dumber but we also have taste that gets worse with every page you turn in magazines. And because people are getting dumber, you have no choice but to hire people who are equally dumb to communicate to them--it's really all about the dumb leading the dumb.

When it comes to fashion, I truly believe, the uglier and less chic the thing, the better it will sell. Why do you think Maria Luisa in Paris is so small and Barney's is so big? I rest my case.

I think the dilemma right now is that we have a bunch of kids who can look a certain part but aren't really like that. I don't want my generation to be remembered as "all style, no substance." To repurpose another one of your lines, it seems that young people now are indeed "capable of reading a book, albeit one lighter than a gram of coke."

There is nothing wrong with being remembered as having all style and no substance--at least someone remembers you! But yes, these days, possibly because of the speed and reach of media, people can only read books as light as a gram of coke. That's okay--'cause my book is like that. But Book Two will be heavier--50 grams of champoy because I have to appeal to a wider audience.


Of course movie stars wield more power than politicians--not only in the Philippines. The US has had their share of actor-presidents and governors like the Terminator and Sonny Bono and even wrestlers.

I think if Lucy Torres ran for president she would win. Certainly! But then I'd do what I would have done if Loren Legarda was president--which is air-lift my dogs out of the Philippines--but I don't have to worry about that anymore because poor Sierra and Ching Ling (named after Sun Yat Sen's wife) have died of old age in Manila. But I still have two insane ones here who will soon be committed to the Taiwan Animal Mental Hospital if they don't kill me first.

Since this was the same woman who put your whole attitude into perspective with two succinct words ("S--t siya"), what kind of campaign do you think she'd have?

Holy chic! What a question... Do I look like Karl Rove? If I was a whitening product company I would totally sponsor her campaign all out from Aparri to Jolo. You must realize that aside from pale skin, she has one quality that I don't that will make her win the presidency--people love her. But people don't love me and I use self-tanner from Clarins.

As a columnist in the country's largest broadsheet, I have apparently pissed off a William Hung fan and he made that abundantly clear in an e-mail. How do you deal with critics?

You hate William Hung? Kawawa naman that guy! Well, he really is ugly but he had guts, which many people in the world don't.

I never answer hate mail. But I like getting them because that means a) they have read the whole piece and B) you elicited a reaction and that is the best thing about writing for a big paper. Also, hate mail gives you ideas for more columns.

Were you really a mother cobra in a previous life?

Well, funny that you should ask that because everyone thinks the snake in the Robinson's dressing rooms was a twin of my cousin but it was really me (in Alexander McQueen, of course) policing the dressing rooms for any fashion emergencies and crimes of fashion.

So what happens when chic finally hits the fan?

It happens to me almost everyday especially when I'm in Yohji because my sleeves get caught in the bus doors. When it happens then I'll just have to "Hide and Chic"... new frontiers.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Tito, Vic & Joey - one of them carried Chaucer (did he read or use it to carry his coffee?). Now this is sharp eye and wit by Kitty Go.

Let me venture a guess - Joey De Leon and he reads Chaucer (was it The Canterbury Tales?)

Cacho said...

Agree, my guess is Joey. Despite his reputation as a connoisseur of toilet humor, he is a confirmed intellectual. unfortunately, the same can not be said about the other two clowns. they stopped at the "toilet" part.

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