Tuesday, November 20, 2007

sunday keys

story goes that alma moreno went to mc donalds and ordered adobo burger with cheese. she was promptly informed that mec donalds doesn't serve adobo as part of their menu. she of course insisted and sang the jingle of their commercial... "adobo-dobo chess chess, barger barger fleas fleas.."

uh, she must have been the voice coach of flash-in-the-pan-ty sexy dumb star alyssa alano who massacred the song "kiss me" with her own version - "keys me".

speaking of killing the english language, melanie marquez must have been a mass murderer with a number of quotable quotes that rivaled the vocabulary and depth of another english serial killer: erap estrada.

melanie was invited to a tv show where she was asked if she really said "you are barking at the wrong dog!" to which she promptly answered: "hello, kay alma moreno kaya yun." and before the hosts could stop themselves from falling off the chair, she quickly added "it's not my problem anymore, it's her problem anymore." - i heard the echo of madonna's song bog bog bog (vogue) as the hosts made kalabog on the floor.

to quote leah salonga, "i digress..." because the topic really for this entry is sunday brunch and adobo.

gold must have tasted like adobo, well it probably would if you bought your adobo from bizu (greenbelt three) and paid 215 pesos for a very small piece of chicken, two very dry dry pork cutlets and chicken liver that went through hepatitis alphabet (A-D) that causes liver to shrek, err, shrink.

my measurement of a restaurant's culinary skill is their ability to cook the unrivalled filipino dish adobo. adobo to filipinos is as diverse as the number of dialects that we speak in this country or the number of islands that grow and shrink with the tides. if a restaurant can't cook any basic variation of adobo, i sincerely doubt their ability to cook any other dish. but that's my opinion.

going back to bizu, they served it with garlic rice, two poached eggs and two slices of tomato topped with a bit of pesto sauce. on hindsight, the pesto must have caused the price to jump from 100 to 200 pesos. they complemented their meal with bottomless coffee and i must have downed a liter as me and my breakfast companions extended our brunch to three hours, if i had a thermos with me i'd have gotten more before i stepped out.

with 215 pesos in cebu you could have had a buffet with a sampling of all animals in God's creation and ended up a diabetic with the sweet temptation laid out on the desert table (the port, waterfront lahug priced at 199 pesos). With 215 pesos i could have picked up a pork steak almost an inch thick and as big as a standard sizzling plate in bop bernie's - with enough to spare for sago't gulaman and parking tip for the security guard who stands watch over my car. with 215 pesos i could have gotten the biggest portion of baby back ribs literally falling off the bone and slathered in barbecue tamarind sauce from casa verde including desert and some appetizer. heck, i just need 150 to have that whole feast. with 215 i could have gotten 5 pork barbecue sticks (60 pesos), 3 huge portions of grilled chicken liver and gizzard (75 pesos) that you would have suspected it must have been chicken taking a daily dose of liveraid supplements, half a chicken portion either fried to a crisp or grilled (60 pesos) and a number of puso (rice cooked in a casing made from coconut leaves priced at 1.50 a piece) with C2 (14 pesos) and still some spare to give the street urchin littering outside apurado's chicken haus.

and for 25 pesos i could have gotten the cebuano version of adobo (pork liempo cutlets marinated in soy sauce, vinegar and spiced with crushed peppercorn, garlic, patis and bay leaf then cooked to reduce all the marinade and then fried to a crisp) from the carinderia right beside my house.

suffice to say that i ate my bizu adobo with slow bites savoring the 25 pesos worth of every single munch to try and get some justice out of the 215 pesos i had to pay for adobo that didn't have any flavor at all. towards the end i still had some pork cutlets left over and for anyone who knows me, that is a bad bad sign leaving food on the plate.

i would have preferred adobo with cheese just like alma moreno.

------------------------------

by the way, try putting a drop of full whipped cream to your adobo dish or substitute coconut milk and have another variation of this dish that literally melts and coats your tongue with the milky smooth flavor of cream. yum-me.

for those that got their interest piqued with alyssa alano, enjoy the video and sing along with the lyrics i have researched (very thoroughly mind you) for the song keys me.


Kiss me
out of the bearded
barley
Nightly,
beside the green, green grass
Swing, swing,
swing the spinning step
You wear those shoes
and I will wear that dress.

[Chorus:]
Oh, kiss me
beneath the milky twilight
Lead me
out on the moonlit floor
Lift your open hand
Strike up the band
and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon’s
sparkling
So kiss me

Kiss me
down by the broken
tree house
Swing me
upon its hanging
tire
Bring, bring,
bring your flowered hat
We’ll take the trail
marked on your father’s map
ohh

Oh, kiss me
beneath the milky twilight
Lead me
out on the moonlit floor
Lift your open hand
Strike up the band
and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon’s
sparkling
So kiss me

So kiss me
So kiss me..
so kiss me..
so kiss me..
Keys me
Beat in the Verdict
Valeey
Nightlee
V-side the green, green grass
Swing, swing
swing the spinny stef
You vur the shoez
And I will wear the dress

[Chorus:]
O keys me
V-neat d milke twalay
Leeeep me
Al-out d moonlit floor
Leaf your open hand
Strike entebend
end make d parflays dance
Sylvimousse
is barkley
So keys me

Keys me
Down by the flow can
3 haw
Twin vee
of funne hungee
Tay
Bring, bring
Bing your flower head
Will take dachay
Make on your fathers melt
ohh

O keys me
V-neat d milke twalay
Leeeep me
Al-out d moonlit floor
Leaf your open hand
Strike entebend
end make d parflays dance
Sylvimousse
is barkley
So keys me

So keys me
So keys me
So keys me
So keys me

1 comment:

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