Praise You - Quotable Church Bulletins

Sure we've had a big HO HO HO at the expense of the Philippines Ms. World winner for the murder, or rather, the massacre of the Engish language. On the other hand, what's the excuse of native English speakers doing the same thing?

Here's a pretty interesting collection of actual Church Bulletins in the US:

This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

Tuesday at 4 p.m. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk, please come early. - breast pumps are available for a fee.

Wednesday the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing, "Put Me In My Little Bed," accompanied by the pastor.

Thursday at 5 p.m. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All those wishing to become little mothers, please meet the minister in his study. - am sure Mrs. Johnson is already part of the Little Mothers Club

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Johnson to come forward and lay an egg on the altar. - cluck cluck!

The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.

On Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the expense of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet, come forward and get a piece of paper. - am guessing the parishioners won't be bringing their pets to church.

A bean supper will be held Saturday evening in the church basement. Music will follow. - We also accept Laundry and Catering on Weekends.

The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belser, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belser. - even Catholic Priests have taken on that nice little hobby

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. - Include me on the list please.

The notes in blue are mine. Thanks Shehan for sharing this one - we sometimes gotta have a pretty nice cluck cluck he he he. If you're inclined, visit this link:


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