Balls of Our Lives


Low Hanging. Inverted. Uneven. Hairy. Free Hanging. Balls.

Us men have this interesting habit - the need to rearrange our balls every ten minutes or so. Well, if you see a guy going at it every minute that's probably jock itch. Some are more prone to rearranging the crown jewels because of really tight underwear. Whoever thought of t-backs for men should be shot. That piece of string running up your rear-side does not go well with people who have hair in that part of the netherworld. Besides, some men need that extra gravity-defying lift of extra full briefs to support asses that seem to have migrated to south of the border.

Anyways, all this sudden interest in nuts was triggered by an article that said Testicle Size Determines How Faithful Your Man Is where the premise that men with bigger balls are bound to sow their wild oats in another field - note the clever use of metaphor to avoid saying penis, vagina and coitus.

The article adds another layer of paranoia to an already borderline schizo frame of mind for women who now have to contend with the fact that men's balls should fit in the palm of their hand to get some assurance they won't be banging those balls in someone else's court. If you are Mahal, finding men with jolens-sized balls may be a bit of a problem. For my women readers, please don't freak out your men by waking up in the middle of the night and attempting to cup their balls in your hand - too Lorena Bobbitish for our own comfort.

On the extreme side, there are articles on how to increase the size of testicles due to consistent use of steroids by male bodybuilders. It is interesting to note that they haven't thought of the possibility that increasing body muscle mass will make your testicles look smaller in comparison. That is the reason why Hulk's jockstraps never rip apart every time he gets bigger, madder and green in the face - much to the dismay of my women friends when we caught the movie on the big screen. Going back to bodybuilders, an article compared brain and testicle size in bats and came to a conclusion that bats with smaller balls have bigger brains. If that is the case, I therefore conclude that Batman has small balls.

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We should take care of the only pair we get at birth. The ad is courtesy of Jockey :)

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