Monday, May 23, 2011

gym (b)rats

there are four distinct cliques in my gym.

the bratty college kids on a summer break who go around in packs and seem to be preoccupied with talking more than working out. i hate how they think they own the joint and sit on benches while the ones who want to use the machines have to wait. i don't want to sound snotty, but i definitely paid more than their bloody student summer rates to use the gym.

the other group is made up of "athletes". boxer-wanna-be, stationary cyclists, road runners. the ones who raise their shirts in a snap to admire their abs and talk about their next cycling activity, the next marathon, the next basketball game. often they flock around the tv to catch the latest NBA game. they also have the annoying habit of hanging out in the spinning room to chat up the instructor, never mind that we're in the middle of a class. the worst offenders join the cardio classes, do mocking attempt at following the teacher, laugh out loud at their "feigned" inability to follow the dance classes then they leave the room. they strut, they preen and seem to delight in outdoing each other in the VOLUME category.

the third group is the ultra narcissistic model-wanna-be group. they spend more time gazing at themselves in the mirror rather than working out. i am constantly amazed by their ability to carry a conversation with each other while they look at themselves. seriously, some of them need to look at themselves in the mirror and ask if they want to live their lives joining the next bikini open hoping for a wealthy benefactor to keep them fresh. clue to the clueless: gravity is a force of nature, eventually, everything goes south! if there's anything common with the other two groups, they are also notoriously noisy not only in the gym but inside the lockers as well. please, let's not talk about waxing and how the other fellow's butt is so firm. that's just sick.

the last group that also has a tendency to flock together would be the cross-breeds. the half-and-half mestizos. half-filipino half-filipina, errr... half-american, half-british, half-italian, half-japanese half-spitz, half-australian, half-german, half-measles err.. half-you-name-it.

i don't understand why they always have to speak in loud voices with a pronounced twang as if to announce their superior-poren-genes. more often, they group together like the united nations and have a disdainful attitude towards the natives around them.

a quick lesson in statistics, 99% of pinay-poren marriages have an economic reason behind them. close to 80% are initiated through online chatrooms. 40% are initiated in bars. most of the poren partners are not exactly rich or royalty in their own country. they are just common workers. the pinays are not exactly rich either. so quit the posturing doood.

personally, i couldn't care less about these cliques. i just wish they'd shut up and let us paying customers do our workout!

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