Saturday, September 05, 2009

Sosyal Ka?

my colleagues and i had a hilarious discussion of how we use certain adjectives that are appropriate depending on your soshyal class. it started with food and the apparent discrimination when we refer to tanigue ala pobre as poor man's fish when there's nothing cheap about spanish mackerel. spanish what? tonto! that's the english name for tanigue.

this apparent discrimination extends to how we refer to rich matrons like elenita binay as voluptuous and the middle class manang "taba", if hapon "tabakiko", in chinese "tabachingching" and in the slums plain "baboy" and adding more insult, "tababoy". sige na lang, sa sobrang voluptuous po nila eh talo pa ang makating higad sa dami ng bewang.

if you're rich and anorexic they call you thin, in another language "patay gutom" ka, o di kaya smack the earth. "hampas lupa" po yan. you can replace hampas with "kutong", "amoy", "lamang".

if you're rich like jejomar binay they call you a "tanned, ruggedly handsome fellow", much to the amusement of his classmates in UP who called him "magbubukid". tip lang pareng binay, in the short history of the philippines, wala pa pong nananalong maitim na presidente. even si manong ed panlilio eh half mestizo lang so di rin pwede.

if you're mirriam defensor they'd call you brilliantly smart, never mind that her actual nick name is brenda. short for bren damaged.

ping lacson is fearlessly outspoken when in fact, in the corner sari sari store tawag po sa kanya bungangera, talakera, palengkera.

gloria is called petite, but her erstwhile nemesis estrada minces no words when he calls her pandak.

dragon lady ka if you're fiery and tempestuous like jamby madrigal but in another part of town she goes by pards, pare, t-bird. she famously banners that walang kai-kaibigan, walang kama-kamaganak. oo nga naman, after filing a multi million case against her relatives for her inheritance wala na talaga syang kaibigan at relatives.

mar roxas is dashingly debonair, a modern metrosexual. when the tabloids just as easily refer to him as "b??ing" - clue, bad na sya, kambing pa. mix and match the words na lang. si korina, crying lady when mar announced his withdrawal from the presidential bid. at the back of her mind, "kakainis, ako pa naman sana ang second lady!" syempre po, si pareng mar ang first lady.

that or she realized that her wedding to mar is co-terminus with his presidential bid.

kung si hayden kho ka, you're psychologically bruised and sexually abused as a young teener. his slum title is "idol". syempre in the slums, the careless whisper mtv with katrina halinghing is worthy of a joseph estrada trophy. he promised to avenge himself by saying "when i grow up I will giant you!" - and if you're familiar with his drug induced stupor you probably know that he meant "pag laki ko, maghigiganti ako".

unfortunately, he never grew up. just check his videos.

estrada is often described as handsome with his flushed red mestizo looks. in short, laseng. bangag.

estrada is macho. in gay lingo (to quote another blogger) mas makati pa sa higad na may allergy sa hipon.

and last but not the least, your dress sense is eccentric if you're the dough-ter of the prieto clan that owns inquirer. pero sa baranggay namin, tawag po dyan baduy.

in any case, i've probably nixed any opportunity to get invited to any of the soshyal gatherings. that's fine with me, i've never felt comfortable around tupperware. and yes dear readers, that's the soshyal name for plastic.

peace yo!

5 comments:

AJ said...

Hahaha hilarious post! Sa barangay namin we call tupperware - orocan. I guess my b'gay is more eccentric, errrr baduy, than yours. Ewwwness! :)

Anonymous said...

ay labet! in one post you managed to hit so many personalities ha ha ha ha.

Anonymous said...

he he he this piece is very much like the professional heckler he he he. was looking for politician pieces and saw this one.

Anonymous said...

write about korina and kris!

Erich Jao said...

Wapak!!

I suppose were I in the upper social strata, I'd be tagged as whimsical and multispectrumed persona. Pero dahil hindi, tawag tuloy sa akin eh tangang di mapakali sa buhay!

Kelangan yumaman para mas maganda ang label ko.

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